Westley - An incredibly loving, sexy, and romantic man with a rediculous talent for the stage. Westley is funny, warm, and always wants to give me whatever I want or need. Hence, Westley, leading man of The Princess Bride whose catch phrase to Buttercup, "As you wish," really meant "I love you."
T - My security guard at work who spends most of her day IMing me links to the most fascinatingly bad pop culture updates and educating me in the culture of Camden. She is sweet and very odd and has a beautiful little girl who just turned a year old!
LittleT - My extremely talented cousin. We were so close in age, geography, and interests that we grew up friends. She's also the closest I ever came to having a human sister. (There have been four canine sisters, though.) LittleT is more traditional than I am. She canters at Church, teaches music, is married to another musician, and they have a lively and charming little boy. But despite our different lifestyles, we still have a lot in common and we're still always there for each other.
Joker - You have never met a more hilarious person than Joker. I'm not kidding. If you think you have, you are wrong. He's a talented actor, completely committed to his girlfriend (Red), and can be a good ear if you need someone to hear you, but mostly he's just a trip to be around and he's always ON!
Red - Spunky, mischeivous, and funny, Red is an inspiration to me. After some rough times in her 20s, she's become a strong, independent chick with an awesome life. She's knows what she wants and she accepts the sacrifices and the work it takes to get there. She's Joker's main squeeze and, like Westley and I, they plan to be "Just the two of us" forever. She has an obsession with Elvis that borders on mental illness. Do NOT disgrace the King in her presence or she will bite!
JQ - LittleT's little sister and my slightly younger cousin, JQ is smart as a whip, beautiful, and has an awesome sense of humor. She and her husband (a zombie fan - Westley and I love that!) are expecting their first child this May!
Funnyman - Another local cousin, Funnyman gets his name because of his awesome talent for twisting words, throwing David Letterman quotes into normal conversation, and knowing Weird Al Yankovich lyrics better than the song being parodied. He's getting married this summer to a super-awesome chick who really needs a nickname!
Shabuchwae - One of my college friends who's off living the dream as an actor in NYC. Remember, sometimes dreams are a little scary. But he's working through the drawbacks and right now he's building a really cool cabaret that I can't wait to see! Obviously talented, he's also really down-to-earth and generally my first choice for a tough-love reality check.
Sexynurse - Smart and adorable with a cutting sense of humor, Sexynurse is the best thing that ever happened to Cellophane. Thanks to her, he's finally starting to realize the extent and power of his talents and letting people take far less advantage of him. She's a nurse by profession, an awesome pedi-partner, and an overall blast to be around.
Cellophane - I actually hate this nickname. He dubbed himself "Mr. Cellophane" after the song from Chicago, in which a character named Amos laments that people can "look right through [him] and never know [he's] there." It's true that he's quiet, but unlike Amos, he's enormously talented and invaluable to his professional, personal AND volunteer acquaintances. He and Sexynurse married in the Fall of 2009 and are in the process of buying their first 'grown-up house', complete with a pool and media room. Go them!!!! (Please host lots of parties!)
Mischief - When it was brought to my attention (by the girl herself, who threatened to deny me food if I did not rectify the situation) that I had forgotten to include Mischief in The Cast, I felt absolutely horrible. And not just because I was hungry (though I was), but because I can no longer imagine a life without her friendship. She's beautiful and sooo multi-talented - she is an artist, a knitter, a crocheter, a chef (actually has a degree in that one), loves films, and has a genuine flair for florals and interior design. I love being around all that creative energy. But my favorite thing about Mischief (and what gives her her name) is how she always seems to have these naughty little pranks in mind to throw at the fam, with my Westley being her primary target. Sometimes she enlists me and it's hysterical. Sometimes I have to stop her for reasons of public safety - that Samara prank was bound to end in heart failure or homocide, or possibly both. But no matter what she's got up her sleeve, you can count on it to make your day.
CoachFiend - Westley and Mischief energetic sister-in-law, with a soft spot for Coach bags, great taste in clothes, and a faith in the powers of retail therapy that borders on religious. She's an incredibly successful trainer and HR professional, a runner, and a reality tv addict. She and her husband live in a great town in Maryland with their two beautiful little boys.
ToriNot / Glinda - The first villian to get a listing is my manager at my day job. She looks a lot like Tori Amos, but she is not Tori. She is literally the embodiment of everything I hate in the corporate world - incapable of proper communication, reactive instead of proactive, micromanaging, cold-hearted, and directionless. She wants us to get rid of the AEDs in our buildings because, although properly maintained and used AEDs will save lives, she's worried that someone will forget to change the pads or the batteries, in which case the Company could be sued. Nothing like putting prevention of litigation ahead of the wellbeing of your population, huh? Unlike my coworkers, I don't believe she's actually mentally ill. If I did, I'd have much more compassion for her. I simply believe that she's mean-spirited and extremely fake, hence why she becomes Glinda whenever she's planning to see someone who is actually still taken with her after a year on the job. Since her glitter fades quickly and most people have already caught onto her act, Glinda very rarely surfaces these days...
